This is just one of those bad days. I'm super stuffed up with a cold, my knee's buggin me, my right lower back is hurting like nuts (and im still not sure if it labral tear-related but i can only hope it is..) and my face feels drier than a saharan desert. I tried taking a diagnostic mcat exam earlier, got 8 problems deep, then my head started hurting and I struggled to fall asleep for three hours. I feel terrible. I left my cell in the car. I ran out of underpants and socks. With the exception of milk three days ago, i haven't bought groceries since the surgery. I feel disconnected from the world (i know im actually not but yeah). I'm worried that I'm going to end up overloaded again and do badly on the MCAT. I cancelled my May 11th exam date. My classes start tomorrow. weekend classes, so goodbye social life/life in general. I don't even know when i'll be able to go visit family. I missed Ash Wednesday mass. sometimes we put so much effort into something that we convince ourselves that it is more than it really is and we pour endless amounts of time energy and compassion into it, only to find that those sentiments were not exactly reciprocated. It's understandable though considering the circumstances and context of background and experiences. I'm broke and waiting to get my paycheck and it's my fault because of getting inspired last Friday. How am I gonna potentially handle being a psychiatrist when I can't even get my basic ish together. I need a set schedule to follow through with, but it's hard when there're so many possible variables still up in the area regarding my labral tear surgery and easter seals bay area. It's just not a good day for me. I'm just rambling. c'est la vie.