i start this entry with that feeling inside when something in your deep sternum area feels as if it's ready to sink to the depths of a dark place inside of you. a feeling i haven't felt for a while now. this wknd was beast to the east and nmls collective's first performance together. odette and her husband steve also visited and i went with ma to visit em' at the presidio. i'd only been there at night o drop off vicki so that was dope. anyway, I learned/was reminded of a few things this weekend. 1) credits to esauce: that life shouldn't be about suppressing the things that complete us. 2) that oftentimes i cannot be the ideal person for someone, but that that's ok and that I am who I am, even if I will never fit that 'ideal mold'. Regardless of these statements I still have that sinking feeling inside. Having a shared faith is something that many value and something I respect and connect with. I understand yet the feeling within my sternum continues to remain there, sinking for an undefined period of time. Although I feel that in many ways I was mature for my age, I feel like a dumb 16 year old who's stressed about some ish that really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. I say this yet the feeling continues to remain with me. Regret is a distant relative of mine who usually never visits my temple, however she seems to take space in my apartment from time to time these days...