"The other day someone asks me "What I want to do, and why I wanted to study for my GRE's" Having not been asked that yet by anyone, I was actually a bit taken a back and blurted something out about battling human trafficking through a public health lens. "You gotta do law then. Get a law degree" Interesting. Then I went into a famboozled state of mind because I hadn't thought about that yet. I talked to him about wanting access and power in order to really make change. I mean I am making change, but it doesn't come as easy nor is it "highly respected" I'm not sure what I am aiming at, all I know is that I need access and power in order to really have control over where resources are allocated." amen homie. amen.

this must be purgatory.

crazy when you feel alone, like you're disappointing those who care about you the most, when you're unmotivated and failing yourself. I need to figure something out. fast.

hey yo in the bliss of ***zdness lalalala

Im tired of playing roulette. when can the odds be in my favor.

note to self: figure out why watching people lick their finger to grab paper/turn a page releases some sort of easing chemical in my brain that put me at ease. add'nal note inserted 2.25 am 5/28/12 bobby who is a future Psy D from the Wright institute postulates that it could be due to something from my childhood that I can't remember that was connected to a strong emotional moment that was soothing. who knows tho.

(at starbucks and they playin' dat is you is o is you aint mah baybeeehhh) Iiiii got a man who's alwayssss late, eveeeerryyyytime we have a date, but I love him, OOOOH YESSSS I LOVEEEEE HIMMMMMMMMMMMMM (I dont actually have one, but this songz just too nasty not to sing along).

a pretty face can't replace who completes us in time and space.

fcuken A, I think I have some sort of vitamin deficiency/infection on my nose. sigh. my eating patterns are so sporadic and scant these days. I woke up at 9.49 am at mikee's apartment this morning and smashed it to microbio lec only to miss the quiz and midterm review. luckily professor rutledge had mercy on me and was down to let me make it up. I feel like the world's falling apart and I'm not holding it down like I vowed to after last quarter. I'm tired of my feelings about the world oscillating. yeah yeah yeah that's life but whatever. can't my own life graph be like that of a pathogen and actually experience a stable rate of exponential growth? I'd even be content with some stationary phase. I don't know to what it is, I don't feel like I'm doing this shit to myself. I'm no longer the "yes" man that close friends would tell me I was 3 years ago, and yet why am I still in a similar situation. after this study/catch up/scholarship app-fest until 6 pm I have to help malia with some dance project (ok yes I agreed to help her with that), drive to sac to kick it with kvo/KO before jdubs grad tmrw, drive to sc to swoop pii koi for seagrad, go to bootysf for rehearsal/chillen which aka means I can't study much that day. life has never been so bitter sweet. In the words of Kazoo, "GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" . I need to figure out mah muhfucken life.

http://www.photohype.com/DecisiveMoment.htm

but, for a certainty, back then, we loved so many, yet hated so much, we hurt others and were hurt ourselves... yet even then, we ran like the wind, whilst our laughter echoed, under cerulean skies... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=923fVDDwaHo&feature=related

who I am I kidding.. hah. . .

when this is all done with, hook up speakers lie on comfortable surface... and play http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Fe4dk0Jtcw .... remember those times and the one you lost and the irony and the comedy/tragedy of it all... the rubiks cube you're caught up in trying to solve, or is it ok that all the oranges don't all match up perfectly.

holding hands is some magical stuff. if you have the privilege of doing so, never forget to nestle your palm into theirs with conviction, each and every time.

studying in a starbucks and the girl across for me is telling her male friend about how she used to cut herself. I need to check myself when it comes to assuming that someones' life is relatively stress free just because they're caucasian. I just grew up this way...

an interesting way to wake up

Stacks is now open 24 hrs a day bc it's Cal's dead week. I pulled an all nighter last night. went to cafe med with the lost gen boyz jesse dylan and rahul to eat breakfast there for the first time ever. I had microbio at 10, we finished grubbin' at 8, I drove to CSU EB to take a little "nap". I woke up at 11 am and after the whole FMLIwokeuplaaaate thing wore off, I had to pee. BAD. I couldnt hold it and I was in the middle of a pretty vacant parking lot. in a desperate attempt to be secluded I peed in between the space between two cars. as I breathed a sigh of relief after having executed this task, I zipped up my pants and walked back to get into the car to change and get ready for my 2nd class that started at 12. As I was putting on my pants inside the back of the car, I noticed that there had been a girl sitting the passenger seat of a car directly in front of me the entire time.