when all of your friendships with people are running into the ground,
when you feel like you have lost the person who makes something special move inside you everytime you see them,
when you feel like you're progressively fcuking up more relationships,

when you feel like you're not even trying to but just seem to have a knack for fcuking things up,
when you feel like the schedule of life is getting to be too hard,
when you don't feel like you have a stable home to go to,
when you don't really feel like interacting with people,
when you feel like as a result of you messing up in school and doing a post-baccalaureate program you are now wasting your time and denying those you love and want to spend time with that same time and love,
when you find yourself realizing that you should be happy because those people are happy and that you used to say that that's when you truly love someone because you're happy for their own happiness even if you can't be a part of it any longer and you realize that you yearn to be a part of it because you know how much happiness you can bring to their lives,
when you can't let go because you have faith but everything else in this world is stabbing at you to lose your grip,
when at times you feel like you don't know yourself and you become limited to that which you do in the day to day,
when you feel like there truly may have the, "mood disorder in which feelings of sadness, loss, anger, or frustration interfere with everyday life for weeks or longer" inside of you known as depression,


you must write. you must find a way to get yourself through this. you have to continue to have faith in yourself. you have to and I know you will. suu suu.