1st off for the record I'd like to mention that I'm not schizophrenic. I was driving back to berkeley from school. just had another meet up with professor ancheta to talk about my timeline and such. to make a long story short it was a very real and spirit lowering/motivating conversation, one that reminded me of how far I've come, and how much further I have to go. I've been feeling many profound feelings lately that kind of mix together and leave me feeling strange, however there is an odd kind of beauty in that I suppose. for example I was thinking about how bryan had his first romantic experience in taiwan and how he described the experience, coupled with thinking about my own life and lack of such things(for good reason) plus my future timeline and how hard life is right now. While I was driving back I was listening to 91.1 (bay area jazz station) and there was a track that was purely piano riffs. In front of my was some sort of pick up truck that for whatever reason had its rear handle that you pull to lower the door to access the loading space was a bit loose and as a result of the wind it was flapping back and forth as the car was going. As the sounds of the piano played, my eyes couldn't help but focus on the wavering handle as its motions began to play the sounds of the piano. I found it beautiful. I see music in everything. Eventually the handle started speaking to me through the sounds of the piano saying things like, "you got this just keep doing what you're doing. Stay focused, you'll be pleased with your future." What is my future? I never got to ask, and I suppose that that's not a valid question to ask an oracle piano riff interpreting truck trunk handle. as two cars cut in front of my and the trunk sped up the trunk handle told me he/she had to leave but to remember its words. Talk about interesting. I'm trying my best to find that peace in the darkness. ---o gawd...past. "my good friend danny was feeling kind of down about human relationships with others regarding how there's always potential to always be doing something wrong, after this occurred I was talking to him and other folks about how i was watching this documentary about jupiter on the way here on the plane and I realized that much like the way in which the moon orbits jupiter or any planet for that matter, along with the events of that interplanetary interaction there also lies an even more intriguing interaction bigger than ourselves: the universe that we coexist within. if this is stateable then it can also be stated that within this orbiting interaction sometimes comets, asteroids, a tarnished old satellite, and an entire slew of other things can occur in the universe that may impact these moons and planets, they might be struck by the comet or asteroid etc, but one thing that will forever remain is the idea of orbit, and it is this that parallels our own human relationships, because if can remember the beauty of the essence of the human relationship, the human spirit's ability to prevail, and core love, then that is what should be the most important. these principles are the mean by which this planetary/interuniversal exchange can take place, and without this "love"...this orbit/universal interaction cannot be made possible. it is with this great feeling that I tell you both, moreover I implore you both to remember to relish in that relationships that you both have with others, whether you havent seen those people in days, months or years, or even if you just met this person on the street and think that they have a warm heart and endearing soul. cherish that. even cherish the 1st impressions. use those first impressions as a clay by which to sculpt your true perception of a person's character because even if this 1st impression that is created by them is of false doing and materials, it only furthers the truth of your final product. remember."