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father and daughter. the homestay I was living at in laos.

In my fantasies

I have your shoulder to lean on.

'funny how money changes situations'

today I saw a man reading a book. he laughed to himself while reading it. he derived laughter from a series of letters strung together on a page. that's real magic.

thank you lord for nights when you push yourself to do something you weren't going to do because you're too tired but you go anyway.

note to self: on btwists over your right shoulder, REMEMBER TO CONCENTRATE ON KEEPING YOUR LEFT LEG HIGH AND EXTENDED TO GET PARALLEL AND MORE HEIGHT :O

thanks to you both.

to keep it simple for now:

today I had a terrible day. I was in a starbucks looking for a seat and found what looked to be a vacant table. turns out a homeless woman was using it and I proceeded to get kicked out which is really no big deal. as I was using the computer on the counter where they have all the condiments for coffee, an older man who appeared to be in his 60s offered me his seat because he was leaving the establishment. I sat down and a man of about the same age asked me if I had enough room. I really appreciated their kindness, and it really changed the energy I was going into my midterm study session with. thank you lord and universe for reminding me of the beauty in the world when everything feels the darkest.

worth only found in
memories arbitrarily reclaimed
the inside of my eyelids
they remember
rainbow sediments found in trash cans
piece together these shortcomings
christ has died and resurrected in my fall
plummet to my rebirth while I turn the page
to a freshly pallid chapter
long to trace thumb and finger strokes
across parchment
conceive color to the world
speak in tongues of
cyan
citrus
and olive green
through my movement

and I am born again

DONE

WITH FCUKING BEING SUB PAR

TIME TO TURN THIS SHIT UP ON MINES JUNE 25TH WE GONNA SHOW EM

"failure"

what's failure? I don't really know what that means. I don't say this because I am above it, but rather lately it has been my close acquaintance.

oh yeah.

don't you just love it when you have a 3350 dollar registration block fee that is a result of school administration's lack of transparency and organizational abilities and then when you finally get the funds together to pay them off the online payment site doesn't accept visa? SHADIJASHUIHWQURWQHREUWQHR8QWRHE87RHEW8DHWEQ8DHQWD78WQHDWOIQHDWOIHDWQU9HDWQHDQW8DHQW8UHDWQD

so "if being with you were easy now, i would be with you already."

"does that mean you want to be with me?"

"yes"

fe.

and she never needed me really,
cause' we only need ourselves filthy
truths of the garbage bag full with pure moments
adjacent to the sins which need atonement

\auto-pilot on

flows through the columns of labyrinth of youth
hears 'enjoy the process til' you find your own truth'
mind corrodes from the acid rain upstream
it stings so good the sounds seem
well deserved self inflicted

no concept of clear transitions

only I can't keep these dreams
only I can't have these dreams
only I can't touch these dreams

only I can't win
it seems

I search for sun
in pitch black